


Not Exactly Subtle

by Infinimay



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series), The Borrowers - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Borrowers Fusion, Bad Flirting, Flirting, G/T, Giant/Tiny, Human!Deceit, Injury, Innuendo, M/M, Mild Language, Sympathetic Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Sympathetic Deceit | Janus Sanders, borrower!remus, tiny!Remus
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-26
Updated: 2020-09-05
Packaged: 2021-03-04 07:48:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,098
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24920083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Infinimay/pseuds/Infinimay
Summary: Remus is injured and, upon being discovered, can’t keep his mouth shut. Deceit is, understandably, confused.Life goes on, from there.
Relationships: Dark Creativity | Remus Sanders/Deceit | Janus Sanders
Comments: 7
Kudos: 135





	1. Meeting an Angel

**Author's Note:**

> AKA the Sewer Rat AU.

Remus staggered along the sidewalk, clutching his arm. Blood trickled down his filthy skin, stray droplets landing on the pavement below him.

He was leaving a bloody trail but he didn’t care. 

He let out a weak huff as he wondered what would finish him off. Maybe a bird? Yes, there were plenty of those around, but he wouldn’t put it past a goddamn _squirrel_ to try to get the jump on him- weirder things had happened, and squirrels were a pretty shifty species.

However, as the ground began shaking, he was overcome with the sudden realization that some things were _far_ worse than death. Namely, humans.

Remus dove into the grass beside the pavement, staying low to the dirt. His whole body was encased in a thin layer of mud, courtesy of the puddle he'd fallen into earlier, but there were a few areas where his lime green poncho was visible. In hindsight, it wasn't a great color choice.

The shaking became more intense before suddenly stopping- the human had stopped dead in his tracks. 

Remus's blood went cold as he realized that he’d left a trail- and not just for animals.

He crawled slowly away from the growing puddle of blood he’d created, moving through the dark grass with a soft, pained noise. He’d rather die to blood loss than to a human who discovered him on a _jog_. How pathetic was that?

Before the borrower could inwardly berate himself some more, there was suddenly a loud _gasp_ from above. Remus had been spotted. He sprang to his feet, ignoring the burning of his arm, and started sprinting for all he was worth.

He wasn’t far from a bush- cover, protection, safety- just a bit further-!

_So close!_

His head spun from blood loss and the ground shook under his feet. A tremor knocked him to the dirt, and the breath was harshly forced out of his lungs. His arm was numb.

He gasped and tried to get up, but he felt his head growing fuzzy, his senses dulling. He tried to crawl forward, his fingers weakly scrambling for purchase on the loose dirt. More tremors shook the ground, and Remus could vaguely make out the fact that the human was speaking.

 _Maybe it won't hurt, and I'll wake up dead,_ he thought. It was a comforting idea.

The world went dark as Remus slipped blissfully away into unconsciousness.

*

Damian’s eyes widened as the creature collapsed, just beside a bush, and he quickly stepped closer to it.

He knelt over it, examining it closely.

“What the hell…” he breathed, bringing a hand closer and marveling at the size of it. He touched a fingertip to its little arm, and noticed that his finger came away red. "Shit."

It was bleeding.

He swore and carefully picked up the thing (tiny man? He really wasn’t sure what it was), gasping for a moment. It hardly weighed anything!

Quickly looking around for witnesses, he tucked his hand, along with the little creature, into his pocket. He wrapped his fingers loosely around it, keeping it steady without squeezing too hard.

Damian speed-walked home in record time, and didn't even bother to lock the door behind himself once he was inside. He ran into the bathroom, careful not to jostle the tiny, unconscious man.

He set the man on the bathroom counter, trying to find the source of the blood. There was way too much for his comfort, and he worried that the little being would die before he could get some answers. He acknowledged the fact that it was a very selfish motivation for helping it, but he wasn't terribly ashamed.

Steady fingers carefully peeled off the blood-soaked poncho and shirt, exposing the wound to open air. It looked like the man had gotten into a fight with some kind of animal- three long, mildly deep gouges marred his pale chest. The fact that he was alive was strong evidence as to who had won the encounter, though.

He hissed in sympathy, his own chest twinging, and grabbed a tube of antibiotic cream.

Within a few minutes, the man was bandaged, but still filthy- blood and dirt had congealed on most of his body, Damian noted as he dampened a washcloth with warm water.

Under that blood and dirt, there was a small, pale face. High cheekbones, a few smatterings of freckles, and the strangest facial hair that Damian had seen in a while.

He couldn’t get over how strangely human it looked- no, how human _he_ looked. If he were the size of a human, Damian wouldn't have thought twice about seeing him on the street or in a bar... though, he’d admit that the handlebar mustache was a bit _odd_.

“Sorry about this,” he apologized as he carefully removed the man’s pants, “but I need to be able to see if you’re bleeding anywhere else. I'm not looking, I swear.”

Of course, there was no response, but Damian didn’t care- at least his conscience was settled.

With that, he set the clothes aside, and focused on getting the man clean. He quickly finished- there wasn’t much to clean, in terms of surface area- and wrapped the creature in a hand-towel. When it woke up, he’d figure it out, but for now...

He turned his attention to the little pile of filthy garments, snorting as he picked up the tiny shirt.

“No offense,” he said lowly, his lips twitching, “but this really _is_ adorable.”

He carefully gathered up each article of clothing, trying not to find it cute that it all fit into one hand, and turned on the sink. He let the clothes soak in the sink for a few minutes as he went to grab some laundry soap, and returned- and though he was disappointed to find that his little guest was still asleep, he didn't let it show.

Before long, he was finished, and the clothes were set aside to dry. With a sigh, he pulled the towel closer to himself, watching the delicate rise and fall of the man’s chest.

He let out a soft huff of amusement as he realized what a _mess_ the man's hair was, and gently brushed his finger over a few curly locks.

“Huh, soft,” he mused absentmindedly, before abruptly realizing how weird that was. “Sorry, that’s kind of creepy, now that I think about it.”

He wasn’t given a response, not that he was surprised.

Letting out a yawn idly, he rested his chin on a hand, observing the little creature. He was patient- he could wait.

*

As Remus began to wake up, he was vaguely aware of three things.

Firstly, he was warm- much warmer than he had become accustomed to, living outside.

Secondly, he was surrounded by something soft and yielding- it felt like laying on a cloud.

And thirdly, he was naked- which was, admittedly, unusual.

The first two led him to believe that maybe he’d been crushed and had died, but why would he be naked in heaven? He wondered if he had ended up in the _other_ place... 

He cracked open an eye, and was immediately met with a bright light. He quickly squeezed it shut again, his eye burning as he flinched back.

A bright light? Maybe he _was_ in heaven!

Despite how his head pounded, he eagerly opened his eyes- and found himself staring, wide-eyed, at the most beautiful face he'd ever seen.

So, he _had_ died! But, this was a godly being- he needed to have _some_ tact.

“…mmm, hello angel…” he greeted as he stretched, spreading out comfortably. He gave the being above him a lazy smile, disoriented but content.

“Oh, um, hello?” The angel offered, giving him a confused look. “Are you feeling alright?”

Remus nodded, closing his eyes blissfully. “I’m feeling wonderfully, thank you... Oh, how'd I die? I’d bet that human killed me- was I crushed? Thrown down a sewer drain? Oh, I’ll bet I was torn in half or something _really_ fun!”

The angel looked startled, eyes widening in hurt, for whatever reason. “You- erm, you were not crushed, no, nor did you drown or get torn in half. You know, maybe you should go back to sleep…”

The borrower shook his head, suddenly much more awake. “Nah, I’m not tired! So it wasn’t the human? What was it, then? A bird? Cat? Oh, no- a _squirrel_?!”

“No, none of those killed you…” his angel looked uncomfortable. Remus inwardly despaired- such a lovely face shouldn’t ever frown!

_Of course I’m upsetting him, it’s not exactly a great topic. I’m such an idiot._

“Oh, I’m sorry, angel, I won’t ask again if it bothers you,” Remus said solemnly, finally taking a moment to look around the room.

He was laying on a hand-towel, which, in turn, had been laid on a table. The room looked fairly normal, but not particularly heaven-like. Bookshelves lined the walls, and he noted that there was a lamp illuminating the space- presumably the bright light that he'd mistaken for the bright light of... whatever heaven was supposed to be lit by. Stars, or something?

The angel followed his gaze, seeming to go still before glancing back to him.

“Wow, heaven looks a _lot_ like a human’s house,” He remarked slowly, an unsettled feeling beginning to seep into his bones.

“There’s actually something you should probably know, and I’m sorry to disappoint, but, uh…” His angel looked lost for words. Thankfully, Remus had plenty.

The borrower looked around, frowning. He had a theory, but he almost didn’t want it confirmed.

“…I- I didn’t die, did I? I fell, and... and _you_ caught me.” He felt a chill shoot up his spine, and he shivered.

Suddenly, the towel that surrounded him wasn’t comforting, but suffocating. His nudity wasn’t a point of relaxation, it was vulnerability. The room felt too warm as his heart began racing, and he grabbed the edge of the towel anxiously. This was _worse_ than death.

The ang- no, the _human_ shook his head frantically, raising his hands in surrender. “I wasn’t trying to- okay, maybe in the beginning- but you’re safe, I swear!”

_Oh no…_

For an angel, he’d been beautiful, but now that he knew that this was a human?

He was _still_ hot!

No, he thought to himself, he wasn’t going to die begging for his life, like a dog. He’d die chasing his dreams, thank you very much!

Even if that dream was a hundred times his size.

He took a deep breath... and then, he cracked a smile. “Well, it- it's a shame that you’re here- what’s heaven gonna do with an angel missing?”

The human paused, hands still raised in a pleading motion.

“Ya know, I always wanted to be picked up by a cute guy, but this is _ridiculous_!”

The humans eyes were wide for a fraction of a second before a smile started to tug at his lips. Fuck, a human shouldn’t be so pretty.

Remus continued, “I would ask you to sit on me, but…” He motioned to his small body, grinning.

The human covered his mouth with a huge hand, snorting in amusement. Remus let out a nervous chuckle, knowing that he was on a roll, now.

“Everyone says size doesn’t matter, but let’s be real, I’m superficial!” He waggled his eyebrows suggestively.

The human broke, finally laughing aloud as he regarded Remus with a fond smile. “Do you even know what subtle _means_?”

“Can’t say I’ve heard of it!”

“I can tell.” The human said, leaning his chin on his hand as he observed him. “Oh, your clothes are drying, do you want them? They might still be damp.”

Remus shrugged, not really caring at the moment. He was fairly certain that the human wasn’t going to try anything, but he wanted something else from the man.

“Actually, I was wondering about that- aren’t humans supposed to at least know each other before they get freaky?”

“Define getting freaky.” The human rolled his eyes, reaching over Remus and gathering up the little garments. Though the borrower had flinched at the movement, he gracefully pretended not to notice.

As Remus was handed his clothes, he thought it over. “I mean, at the very least, that includes stripping me down and giving me a sponge bath. You didn’t even buy me dinner first, you _fiend_!”

The human chuckled, turning away to give him privacy. “In that case, I’m Damian. It's nice to meet you.”

Remus scrambled into his pants, leaving his damp shirt and poncho to the side. “Remus, at your service!”

There was silence for a few moments before Damian turned back to him, hesitating to open his mouth. “So, not to be _rude_ , but…”

“What am I? Sorry, can’t tell ya that one, sweetcheeks!” Remus said cheerfully, flopping down onto the towel. “I’m kind of supposed to be a secret, but apparently I’m not great at keepin’ those!”

“If you’re not great at keeping secrets, then what’s one more person who knows?”

“One more _human_ , thank you, and that’s different. Besides, you gotta let me keep at least one secret, I wanna be mysterious!” Remus grinned, though he could feel fatigue catching up to him.

The human rolled his eyes, but there was humor in them. “Well, it’s nice to meet you anyways, I suppose.”

The borrower gave him a smile, though it quickly faded. After a beat, he said, “So, not that I’m not _totally_ psyched to have been kidnapped by a giant hottie, but what are you gonna do with me?”

The human smirked. “You’re cute enough to keep around, though I’m not sure how you’d do around polite company.”

In the back of his mind, Remus hoped that Damian was joking- though, it didn’t stop him from giving the human a nervous look.

As he realized that his joke hadn't landed, Damian backtracked, “I’m kidding, obviously. You’re free to go, if you wish.”

Remus arched a brow. “‘If I wish?’ What’s the other option?”

“...You could stay, I suppose.”


	2. Seducing an Angel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus skips right over the 'fear' stage and moves right into seduction. Damian doesn't mind, since it's pretty funny to watch.

Living with Damian was a _weird_ experience.

For one thing, the human didn’t seem to care when he just went about his normal business in minimal clothing- hell, he hadn’t even complained when he’d found Remus on the windowsill, sunbathing in the nude (which Remus found to be a very nice activity, indeed).

Well, he’d laughed at him for a minute, but aside from that? Nothing.

Damian also didn’t seem to have a problem with Remus scavenging for food, though he’d made it a point to make everything accessible to the borrower, but not to real rodents.

Everything that he ever wanted to get into was sealed in a ziplock bag, the kind that was easy to open (which was nice, yes, but didn’t satisfy the urge within him to rip open a plastic bag with his teeth and just gorge himself on plain white bread).

And it wasn’t that Remus wanted Damian upset with him- far from it, actually- but it was _strange_ when the human seemed to accept everything in stride.

“Hey Big D, when do I get to see _your_ Big D?” He waggled his eyebrows suggestively, laying in a pose familiar to those that have seen Titanic- nude apart from a single rose petal covering his more important bits.

“Maybe once you stop calling me ‘Big D.’”

The human walked past him, not even sparing a glance to the elaborate drawing of rose petals on the table surrounding the tiny man- of course, in an inappropriate shape.

Remus felt heat rising to his face, and he pouted grumpily. “You could at _least_ critique my approach! Come on, were the rose petals too much??”

Damian laughed from the other room, though Remus could practically feel the eye-roll he was probably being given. His cheeks went pink, but he was more determined than ever.

He needed to step up his game.

*

“Damian, I need your help! Like, kinda urgently!”

The ground shuddered slightly as the human quickly entered the kitchen, concerned. “Remus, what's- oh.”

Remus sat on the kitchen counter, his face and hands covered in chocolate. His shirt and poncho had been tossed aside, leaving him in a pair of dark green shorts and his socks. Upon seeing the human, his face brightened, and he exclaimed, “Oh _Damian_ , you simply _must_ help me- I’m just _covered_ in chocolate! If _only_ someone were around to help me get it off! I’m _helpless_!”

The mustached man put a chocolate-covered hand to his forehead, closing his eyes and leaning back like a damsel in distress. When there was silence for a few moments, he cracked open an eye, grinning.

The human smiled down at the pathetic sight, and Remus was dismayed to find that there wasn't even a _blush_ on the man's cheeks. “Do you need a napkin?”

“…yeah.”

*

One day, Remus had enough.

He stomped across Damian’s keyboard, crossing his arms grumpily, “Alright, spill the beans, Gigantor!”

“We should have never watched Night at the Museum…” Damian grumbled, moving a giant hand to gently pinch the back of Remus’ poncho, moving him off of the keys. He gently deposited the borrower onto the bed, about a foot away from the computer.

“Hey, come on!” He kicked his legs out in an attempt to find solid ground. When he was put down, he glared up at the human. “It’s rude to manhandle, ya know.”

Damian huffed out a laugh, giving him a small smile. “File a complaint with HR, rat, I need to finish this.”

Remus climbed up Damian’s shoulder, finally flopping down into the crook of the man’s neck. He stayed quiet as the human worked, occasionally squirming around to get comfortable.

After what seemed like an eternity, the laptop was put aside and a finger gently poked at his back. “There we go- what did you want earlier, Remus?”

“Ugh, forget it.” He slapped at the hand, giving the offending appendage a death glare. “Jus’ lemme lay here.”

“Oh, don’t be like that.”

“Too bad, I’m being like that. Ain’t nothin’ you can do to stop me.”

There was a deep chuckle and warm fingers wrapped around his torso, lifting him gently to dangle above Damian’s face. “You’re so grumpy lately, any particular reason as to _why_?”

Remus kicked at him, less out of fear and more out of surprise, this time. He grumbled quietly, “You’re always so _busy_ , and we never get to hang out… Plus, my mission to woo you isn’t working, and that kind of sucks.”

Hazel eyes widened as Damian considered his complaint, and the human finally nodded.

He gave the borrower a smile, carefully putting the small man down onto his nose. With that, Damian smiled up at Remus, going cross-eyed to see him properly, and said, “Then maybe we should kill two birds with one stone- let's have dinner tonight. No work, no interruptions, I promise.”

Remus leaned back, suddenly aware of the fact that he was straddling Damian’s nose. It was a surprisingly comfortable position, actually. “Like, a fancy dinner? I don’t have any nice clothes, just…”

He flapped his arms a few times, emphasizing the lime green poncho. It was stained in a few areas, and the fabric was worn and threadbare.

“I’ll take care of that, don't worry.” Damian smiled, his cheeks tinged with hints of pink.

*

A few hours, and plenty of pricked fingers, later, it was ready.

Damian examined his work with a frown. What if Remus didn’t like it?

 _It was a stupid idea, anyway_ , he thought as he gave the trashcan a meaningful glance.

Just as he was about to throw it away, there was a small gasp from the floor.

He froze, slowly looking down to the floor- _pleasedon’tletitbehim_ \- and, of course, it was Remus, looking up at the little garment in his hands like a damned man being offered salvation.

“You weren’t supposed to come in until later!”

“And you thought that I was going to listen? Just give me a hand up there, come on!” The borrower shouted, his eyes not leaving the dress in Damian’s grasp.

Damian groaned, but pushed his chair out from the desk. He leaned down, carefully grabbing Remus, who squirmed within his grasp.

As soon as he was near the table, Remus jumped from the hand, gasping as he admired the green dress that the human held. He reached up to grab it, and laughed delightfully as he examined it.

The dress itself wasn't perfect. The stitching, while still very well done, was slightly jagged, and it was clear that Damian wasn't very familiar with making doll clothes, yet. 

And still, Remus _loved_ it.

“Damian, you made me a _dress_?!”

“I’m sorry, here,” he reached to take it back, but Remus held the dress closer to his body, giving Damian a glare.

“Try to take it and I’ll bite your finger off! Like, this is so _cool_! Nobody’s ever made me clothes before!” Remus held it up to his body excitedly, grinning from ear to ear.

Damian went red, and finally reached down to pet Remus’ hair, smiling softly. “I’m glad that you like it, but I don’t know how nice of a gift it is- it’s certainly not my best work.”

Remus snorted, leaning into the touch with a fond smile. “Nah, it’s amazing. Oh, I should try it on! Turn around- and no peeking, _fiend_!”

Yep, living with Damian was a weird experience- thankfully, Remus _loved_ weird.


	3. Love Hurts (Only Sometimes)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Damian invites a friend of his to come over. You can guess how well it goes.

“Hey Remus, you’ve been clearing out the walls, right?” Damian asked him from out of nowhere one day, startling him as he lounged on his little bed.

“Yeah, why? You gonna banish me to the shadow realm?” 

“I can suddenly see why borrowers are supposed to stay hidden- I should have _never_ given you access to memes.” Damian rolled his eyes, “But seriously, I need you to be hidden for a few hours on Friday night. Virgil’s coming over for drinks, and probably to talk about his boy troubles.”

Remus pouted, turning to him with some jealousy on his face. “What?! No fair, I wanna talk about _my_ boy troubles, _too_!”

“Troubles, _plural_?” Damian snorted as Remus turned pink. “You have something you want to tell me? A secret lover in the walls, perhaps?~”

“Jerk... Fine, I won't pop out and scare your emo... I still want to talk about my boy troubles, at some point!"

Damian rolled his eyes fondly. "You're ridiculous…”

*

Friday night finally arrived and Remus was excited.

As soon as the emo walked in, he had a devious plan- sure, he couldn’t be out there talking with the two, but Damian hadn’t ever said that he couldn’t _watch!_

He scurried through the walls as quickly as he could, finally exiting under a bookshelf near the TV- the one with a bunch of cords and a box that seemed to light up. Damian had some fancy name for it, but Remus didn't remember it.

He climbed up the cords easily, delightedly finding that they were just the right size for him to grasp comfortably. He sat down near the back of the box, making sure that he was hidden as he watched the two. 

As the two started talking, he settled down to observe them, feeling like Steve Irwin or the narrator of a nature documentary. He snorted, smiling at the thought; the wild humans, engaging with one another in their natural habitat...

“Thanks again for letting me come over, I think I’m going crazy.” Virgil groaned, leaning back on the couch. "It's a whole thing, man..."

“Sure, what did you want to talk about?” 

And the dam broke.

Virgil launched into a rant about his romantic life, mostly about a guy that he’d gone on a few dates with. Damian didn't say much, mostly just choosing to make a few choice comments or hums of agreement. 

Remus frowned; Damian wasn't ever like that when _they_ talked. Sure, the borrower talked more than the human did, by a considerable margin, but it wasn't like he ever bulldozed him in a conversation...

“-and I don’t think he’s taking any of this seriously! I asked if he was free tonight, and he just said, ‘idk!’ What does that even _mean_?!”

Before Damian could ask him to elaborate, Virgil paused as if he’d just recalled something. “Wait, aren’t you single?”

The borrower stiffened at that, a flare of alarm in the back of his mind. No way- was Virgil interested in _his_ human?? He glared at the emo, wondering if he would have time to go back to his hole in the wall and grab a needle or something. He needed to give the guy a good vibe check, anyways...

“I’m talking to someone at the moment, actually.” Damian admitted, chuckling quietly. "And I don't think it'd be fair to exactly call myself single, since I'm fairly... _invested_ in him."

The alarm in his chest faded, and the anger bled away as easily as it had appeared. Damian was a good guy, Remus had to remind himself, and it would take more than a proposition from this emo nightmare to change that. Yeah, his... tentative relationship was safe.

“Wait, really? _Who_?”

The taller human snorted, a lazy smile tugging at his lips. “You don’t know him. So, back to your conundrum-”

“Nah, I’m making a big deal out of nothing, tell me more about him!” Virgil waved it away, leaning forward with a small smile. "What's he like?"

“Oh, well, I suppose he’s… interesting.” Damian shrugged, though the corners of his lips twitched. ‘Interesting’ wasn’t quite the only descriptor that came to mind when he thought of Remus. “He has the dirtiest mind that I’ve ever come across, which is, frankly, almost impressive- though he can be sweet in his own way.”

Virgil raised a brow, though it was more playful than anything else. “ _You_ , dating someone with a dirty mind? I kinda doubt that- you’re a bit of a prude, sometimes.”

 _He doesn’t know him as well as I do,_ Remus thought, leaning forward with a large smile on his face. He realized that he was out in the open, but man, if it wasn’t worth it to see Damian’s blush. He had to be the luckiest borrower in the world...

As Damian opened his mouth to respond, his phone rang. He frowned, quickly taking it out of his pocket and checking it. “I need to take this, do you mind?”

“Nah, go for it. Oh, wait, can I turn on the TV?” Virgil asked, pointing to Remus’ hiding place.

Damian nodded and distractedly left the room, flipping open his phone and answering.

As Virgil got up and walked over, Remus belatedly realized that he wasn’t in a good position- his entrance was all the way on the floor, and he was in danger of being discovered.

He backed away from the edge carefully as the human crouched in front of the cabinet-

-and _immediately_ made eye contact with Remus.

“Holy _shit_!” Virgil yelped loudly, his voice deafening Remus. The giant fell back onto his rear in shock, staring at him with wide eyes.

The borrower gasped, stumbling back and clutching his ears in pain. His head pounded, and he groaned, gritting his teeth at the feeling. He could see the human’s lips moving again, but there was no sound coming from them- only a high pitched ringing.

He suddenly realized that he didn’t want to stick around to figure out what was being said.

Remus turned around and sprinted unsteadily back into the shelf. He quickly started climbing down the cords that led to the floor, only to startle as the human- suddenly recovered- reached for him. _Shit, shit, shit!_

He slid down faster, feeling a rush of air as the human narrowly missed him. He had the horrible feeling that it wouldn't miss again.

The human swore, but as the hand pulled back, the cords were jostled. Remus lost his grip, feeling weightless for a second before slamming painfully into the wooden floor- ankle suddenly numb.

“Shit!” Remus hissed, clutching his foot and ducking as the human groped around the area blindly. He fell to his knees, biting his lip as he grabbed his hook-

“-just _hold still_!”

He heard the human’s voice from above before giant fingers closed around him in a vice-like grip. He squeaked as the air was forcefully squeezed from his lungs, wheezing for a few moments. Tears filled his eyes as he frantically squirmed in the tight hold, but to no avail.

Virgil pulled his hand out from behind the shelf victoriously, still tightly clutching the struggling creature. “Gotcha! Holy shit, what the _hell_ are you...?”

Remus squirmed in the human’s grip, unable to breathe properly as he was brandished like a prize. All he could feel was fingers pressing harshly on him, and his ribs starting to creak under the pressure. He gasped weakly, feeling his head start to swim. “S- _stop!”_

He felt his head get heavier as his vision started to fade- then, abruptly, the fingers loosened as he went limp.

“Oh, shit-” He vaguely registered as the world went dark.

*

Damian let out a quiet breath as he hung up the phone, shaking his head. He walked back into the living room, raising a brow as he realized that Virgil was messing with something behind the TV cabinet. "Oh, sorry, I can show you how to turn it on, if you're having troubl-"

The words died on his tongue as Virgil turned around, holding something in his grasp. It was frighteningly still, and Damian's blood went cold.

“Damian, I- I didn’t mean to, I just- oh god, it won’t wake up-” Virgil rambled, cupping a limp figure in his palms.

He didn’t have time for this. He cut Virgil’s rambling off, holding out a hand expectantly, and demanded, “Give him to me.”

When Virgil hesitated, holding Remus closer to his body, Damian snarled, “Oh, so you must _really_ want to kill him, is that it? Great, I’ll go see if Amazon sells tiny coffins- _hand him over_!”

Finally, with a tearful grimace from Virgil, Remus was deposited carefully into his hand.

He examined the borrower with care, his other hand coming up and lifting up his little shirt. A quick glance confirmed his suspicions- rapidly darkening bruises spread across the tiny torso. He felt sick. “You have thirty seconds to explain what happened, and if you try to make a single excuse for yourself, you’ll find yourself in worse shape than _he’s_ in.”

“He was on the cable box, he tried to run and I- I grabbed at him and when he fell, I got him.” Virgil explained, eyes cast downwards. He'd wrapped his arms around himself, his stance oddly reminiscent of a child that was being scolded. "I'm sorry..."

Damian let out a low hiss as he checked over Remus’ ankle, revealing the purple, swollen skin. “I don’t believe that his ribs are cracked, but I’ll need _him_ to check for himself once he’s awake. We can’t ice his foot now, but we can elevate it and hope for the best.”

Virgil nodded shakily, looking sick. “Is he gonna be okay?”

"...I don't know."

*

When Remus woke up, it was to a blistering headache- no, bodyache- god, everything _hurt!_

He let out a high-pitched whine, tears filling his eyes as the action shot a fresh wave of pain through his torso.

“Oh god, Damian! He’s awake!” A loud voice called, followed by a harsh shushing sound. He winced at the noise, curling up to protect himself from the human- again.

“Remus, can you open your eyes for me?” A much deeper, calmer voice greeted him softly, just as he went to cover his ears.

He cracked open an eye, trying to locate his human. It was too bright, but he quickly zeroed in on hazel eyes and a scarred face, pinched in worry. He gave him the closest thing to a reassuring smile that he could manage, though it quickly faded.

“He- hey... remember when I thought you were- ugh, an angel?” He groaned, chest heaving with exertion as he tried to speak. He couldn't help the tears that slipped from his eyes, but he smiled despite it.

Damian smiled sadly at the bruised figure on the table, leaning over him to grab a piece of ice from their little pile of medical supplies. “Of course, that was our first real conversation. You asked me how you’d died.”

“I just... you still look like an angel, even when I’m not half-dead...” He chuckled harshly, sweat dripping down his forehead. He felt uncomfortably warm, and he hated it. He didn't like Damian seeing him like this, in such a sorry state...

“If it hurts, don’t speak. Try not to move, either, this will be cold, but it’ll numb the pain.” Damian instructed, holding the ice and hovering his hand over the borrower’s torso.

At the tense nod, he brought the ice down, moving it in slow, careful circles on the dark bruises. 

For a few moments, they slipped into a pleasant silence, and Remus felt the tension in his body beginning to loosen. Then, Virgil broke it. “God, I’m so sorry- I didn't- I’m such a fuck-up…”

“If you’re fishing for reassurance, you’re not getting any from me,” The borrower chirped, closing his eyes as the feeling in his torso started to fade. He took in a breath, wincing at the tightness in his chest and throat. “I feel like I just got stepped on, man... And Dee, ya never told me that he's _handsy!”_

“Wait, no- it wasn't like that, I just-" Virgil spluttered, his eyes going wide as he flushed pink.

Remus cracked a grin, teasing, "What, _now_ you're shy? Make up your mind, perv!"

As Virgil recoiled, Damian sighed, rolling his eyes fondly. “He’s just trying to get a rise out of you, Virgil, and you’re making it far too easy.”

The borrower snickered quietly as Virgil turned betrayed eyes to Damian, “You still haven’t explained what’s going on, either! What the _fuck_ is he?!”

Before he could respond, Remus chimed in yet again. “Wow, it’s almost like I’m not a _person!_ Isn’t that great, babe??"

“Babe?!” Virgil’s eyes widened comically, looking between Remus and Damian wildly. “He’s- you're…?!”

Damian rolled his eyes at the dumb expression on Virgil’s face, and Remus giggled. He gently nudged Remus onto an open hand, holding him closely in his palm. “If you wouldn’t mind showing yourself out, Virgil, some of us have had very recent near-death experiences and need rest. Perhaps we can hang out again at some point. Be sure to lock the door behind you.”

And with that, he returned to their shared bedroom, walking evenly to not disturb Remus. He closed the door with a shoulder, letting out a sigh as he set the borrower down into his bed on the nightstand.

“Is there anything I can get for you? Water, more ice, a heating pad…?”

Remus winced, suddenly reminded of his bruised body. “Maybe that heating pad and ice, yeah. Oh, maybe some better roommates for my dumb human...”

The human smiled, though he did lightly tap Remus on the head. “Virgil means well, he’s just... confused. And grabby. I could probably sucker him into sending a gift basket for your recovery, actually… Maybe we can do that later.”

Remus liked the idea of getting a gift basket bigger than he was, and pondered it for a moment- then, he winced, guilt welling up in his chest. “Hey, uh... sorry for ruining your night. I didn’t mean to, I just…”

“Don’t apologize.” Damian shook his head, “You did nothing wrong, though I do admit that I didn’t expect Virgil to find you on the TV cabinet.”

“I, uh, kinda wanted to watch, so I was sitting on that glowy-box thing.” Remus ducked his head, rubbing the back of his neck bashfully. “I wasn’t going to stick around so long, but he started asking you about me, and you just…”

“Right... I’m, erm, sorry, if any lines were crossed with that part of the conversation. If it makes you uncomfortable-”

“No, that’s not it!” Remus shook his head quickly, wincing when he aggravated his bruises. “It was, I dunno, nice to hear that. You’re, uh, you’re sweet, too.”

Damian smiled, finally rising to go grab the heating pad and ice. The rest of their evening was spent like that- talking and healing…

…and flirting, but that was pretty normal for them. 


End file.
